Jennybean's Journals

Twitter

Since I'm not online as much, I joined Twitter so I can keep in touch.
This way you can see what I'm doing by checking my Twitter.
Look for this little box on my Buzznet page.
You can follow me, too! I'm Jennybean416.

Ocupado

Q: What's the worst thing about two horrible cooks living together in a small apartment?

A: Having to share one bathroom.

I'm curled up in a ball.
On the floor.
Praying for sweet, merciful relief.

Not that you guys give a flying flip about my digestive woes, this is just a short explanation for my unavailability.

Connect Four

There are four years in a leap year.

A pyramid has four sides.

Humans have four different blood types.

The Special Olympics are held every four years.

If you multiply the number 21,978 by four, it turns backwards.

Earth, water, fire, and air make up the Four Elements.

The Civil War lasted four years.

A compass has four cardinal directions.

There are four seasons: winter, spring, summer, fall.

It takes four people to go on a double date.

The most common swear words in the English language consist of four letters.

There are four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

And four years is a really long time to be in a relationship with someone like me, but we did it.
Tomorrow marks the four year anniversary of one hell of a long blind date.
It's been a crazy ride. An old married couple without the marriage.

Happy anniversary, Blanket. I love you.

I had no idea God sent text messages.

The following was sent to me in a text message this morning:

GOD WANTED ME TO TELL YOU Everything that is going wrong in your life today shall be well with you this year. No matter how much your enemies try this year, "they will not" succeed. You have been destined to make it and you shall achieve all your goals this year. For the remaining months of this year (2008), all your agonies will be diverted and victory and prosperity will be incoming in abundance. Today God has confirmed the end of your sufferings sorrows and pains because HE that sits on the throne has remembered you. He has taken away the hardships and given you JOY. He will never let you down. I knocked at heaven's door this morning. God asked me... My child! What can I do for you? And I said, "Father, please protect and bless the person reading this message"... God smiled and answered... Request granted. If you believe this message, send it to seven people and the one who sent it to you. By doing this you have succeeded in praying for eight people today KEEP IT GOING Fri, Jan 11, 8:55 am

Ok so first off, damn that's one hell of a long text message. I'm curious as to just how long that took to type out on a tiny keypad. AND WITHOUT TYPOS.

Secondly, who writes this stuff?!?! I suspect they are in cahoots with the fortune cookie writers.

And thirdly, why do I need a secondhand message from the big guy upstairs sent to me via text message? Couldn't God just drop me a note on Myspace? Or write me an e-mail? Or send me a link to a Live Journal blog? Why on Earth does it have to be in a text message? We're not even on the same network. That's costing me money! But if I'm supposedly not going to have any hardships this year, maybe my bank account has miraculously been replenished.

Excuse me a moment, I need to make a phone call.

Sex and Christmas Shopping

I have a friend who loves the Victoria's Secret clothing line, so that's where I decided to do her Christmas shopping. I was browsing through a recent VS catalog when the thought hit me: women and men view these models in similar ways (to some degree). Women want to make sure the neckline doesn't show too much cleavage; men want to know just how much cleavage can be seen. Women want to be sure the skirt isn't too short so as to avoid any embarrassing moments; men look for any possible opportunity in witnessing one of those embarrassing moments. Women look for something that is figure flattering; men only take notice when it is figure flattering. The catalog section on lotions, perfumes, and shower gels really aren't of any interest seeing as how you can't actually smell a photograph. Sure the catalog companies could throw in a few scratch-n-sniffs, but then there's the risk of pungent intermingling and conflicting scents that would drive everyone away. In situations like these, when it comes to items other than clothes, if it's not shiny I'm not interested.

Neither women nor men really need to pay much attention to the models' faces, let alone worry about their personalities. Other than cosmetics, there's not much else a face can sell commercially. Both men and women take notice when there's a nice rear end filling out a pair of jeans. Women want jeans to make their derriÃ¨res look flattering and men like looking at those booties. The lingerie department has a tendency to bring sex to the forefront for both genders. I'm trying to visualize what it looks like on, he's trying to visualize what it looks like off. Hell, sometimes even I'm trying to visualize what it'll look like on the floor. Go ahead, call me a shallow perv for paying more attention to the physical details. You can't tell me that wasn't part of the plan. Standing there with their legs posed suggestively, playing with their hair, tugging on the clothes, pursing those pouty lips, and tossing that come hither stare... wait, what was I saying? Ahem. Sex is obviously utilized as a marketing gimmick. And I must say, it works! Well done ladies. Unfortunately, you only increased my libido instead of increasing the size of my wallet. I still can't afford what you're selling.

In the end, it comes down to two realizations:
1. I know there's a very slim chance I'll ever fit my ass into those clothes.
2. Men know there's a very slim chance they'll hook up with those models.

'Tis the season for sharing...

...and all that other stuff. Feel free to share your own holiday traditions.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Depends on the gift

2. Christmas tree: real or artificial?
Artificial

3. When do you put up the tree?
When and if I get around to it

4. When do you take the tree down?
Preferably before the new year

5. Do you like eggnog?
Depends on the recipe

6. Do you have a nativity scene?
We have one as a family, but I don't have one of my own

7. Favorite gift received as a child?
I can't answer that

8. Hardest person to buy for?
Dad

9. Easiest person to buy for?
Myself

10. Worst Christmas gift?
Reindeer pooh (No, I'm not kidding)

11. Mail or e-mail a Christmas card?
Snail mail rules

12. Favorite Christmas movie?
A Christmas Story

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
I stock up on gifts for all occasions throughout the year

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Why do you ask?

15. Favorite food to eat on Christmas?
Dressing

16. Clear or colored tree lights?
Clear

17. Favorite Christmas Song?
Carol of the Bells

18. Travel during Christmas or stay home?
Stay home. It's a small town so if we do go out, we don't go very far.

19. Store bought or homemade gifts?
Depends on the recipient, depends on my budget

20. Angel or star on top of the tree?
This year it's a bow

21. Open presents on Christmas morning or Christmas Eve?
Usually one on Christmas Eve and then the rest in the morning

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
Many, many things

23. Bake at home or buy?
Both

24. Lights outside?
Are a hassle

25. Mistletoe?
Makes a great belt buckle

The Return of Jennybean

Did you miss me?

To the delight of some and the dismay of others I have returned to the Land of Internet Access. Once again I am free to romp and frolic amongst the other dwellers of the interwebz. It's good to be back online because I have missed you all so much. Iâ�™m currently working on transferring my written travel journal into text format, so keep an eye out for that. It may take a while because you know how I am about obsessively checking and re-checking my writing. I also have lots of pictures to share, mostly from my trip, but also some old ones Iâ�™ve been meaning to upload. And there's always the fun randomness that I'm so well known for. I'd like to apologize in advance for the quality of my photos from the trip since most of them were taken from a moving vehicle.

What all I missed (on Buzznet):

My one-year Buzz-aversary! I'm very sad I wasn't around for that one.
The redecorating and revamping of Buzznet. All I have to say is WOW. I'm still getting to know the new layout, but for the most part I really like it. Great job guys!
Buttons! The first thing that came to mind when I saw this little button was Original Gangster. Then I figured out that it's a Buzznet Original badge. What I really wanna know is where the hell is my Buzzmaker badge? I thought I already was a Buzzmaker. No big a deal.
I'm seriously glad I missed out on all the e-Drama. Such silliness.
You've all been very busy posting your own content. I'm enjoying looking back through all the older photos, journals, videos, etc.

What all I missed (in my own little world):

This has not been a good summer for appliances.

Our fridge went on the fritz a while back so the landlord swapped it out with the one from the empty apartment next door. Turns out that refrigerator had roaches. The man had lived there for 18 years and never bothered to clean! So when I return home, guess what... we have a roach situation. Nothing as major as an infestation, but still, ewww. Luckily the exterminator did some hardcore fumigating and the problem has been resolved. It's now safe for me to return to my apartment.
We got a new air-conditioner since our old one decided to completely crap out during the hottest part of summer. This new one has a remote control. How weird is that? It's definitely going on my list of inventions intended for convenience but initially promote laziness. And I'm sure it will spoil me next summer. Hey if you got it use it, right?
The internet access in my area decided to pack up and move, leaving me stranded without the 'Net for three months. My poor little laptop is still recovering from withdrawals.

Well that's about it for the moment. Just wanted to catch you guys up on where I am and what I'm doing in case you were wondering. Pretty soon you'll learn more about where I've been this whole time, but not right now. I need to finish unpacking and get started on a mountain of laundry.

And now I think I'm coming down with a cold or something. Ugh, it's flu season isn't it?

8 Random Facts About Jennybean

It started here on Buzznet with a post by panasonicyouth.

Here are the rules:

Only list 8 facts.

You must then list 8 TAGS at the end of the post. This means you must name 8 people on Buzznet who now must do the same blog.

Go comment on their profile and tell them to come read yours! [We] demand participation.

Eventually I was tagged (by several people), so here goes:

1) I can be very random. When I really get going, it's hard for me to stick to one topic.

2) Even though I'm not a girlie girl, I still like romance and other girlie girl stuff.

3) I tend to procrastinate when it comes to completing a task, yet I don't hesitate when it comes to shoving my foot in my mouth.

4) I like to be liked. I can get along with almost anyone. I like attention from friends but not necessarily from strangers, even though I've been in numerous choirs and plays performed before large audiences.

5) I have RSD, which I like to tell people stands for Really Shitty Disorder.

6) I tend to think negatively of myself as well as situations. My feelings can be easily hurt.

7) I have obsessive compulsive tendencies toward certain things. A few examples include: my food touching other food on my plate, straightening picture frames (whether they belong to me or not), keeping one section of my desk neat while the rest is one big mess, repeatedly re-reading and checking my work for mistakes (it actually took me two hours to post this thing), putting the dishes away in a particular order... It's a pretty random long list.

8) I am sarcastic, but often with the best intentions at heart. I'll usually make a smart-ass remark to get a laugh or break the tension. Other times, I appear flippant when I'm actually being sincere.

And this is who I tag:

heartsapocolypse, bennbell, dawnanthony, alexv, jenda, jayv, twisssssted, charlymaravilla

Each of you must tag 8 more people and you can't tag someone who has already done one. Make a friend! [Insert evil laughter here]

While on vacation...

The good news: Your dog's leg is not broken.

The bad news: She's had a stroke and needs to be put down.

Enjoy the rest of your trip.

In loving memory of Tammy

Homeless Alcoholic Apartments

An experimental apartment complex in Seattle, WA welcomes homeless alcoholics.
Even better than having a roof over their heads, occupants aren't required to stop drinking and they never have to leave as long as they avoid violence.

Many taxpayers are upset that their money is being spent to fund such projects. Officials believe that taxpayers' money is better spent on housing for alcoholics because it will save more money in the long run on multiple hospital visits to the emergency room.

The decision on who gets to live in the apartments is made by social service providers. The only qualification seems to be an extreme record of alcoholism. Residents pay less than $200 a month and must buy their own alcohol. It has been estimated that the building will pay for itself in less than five years.

Ok, so here's a thought. If your alcoholism is so severe that it's cost you your home, your job, and your family and friends, this place will just give you a place to stay and expect nothing in return except that you supply your own alcohol. That sounds a little bit more like enabling than assisting. And on the taxpayers' dime, too.

So if any of you ever need a cheap place to stay, just get liquored up and head to Seattle.